Heartbreak and Healing
by Ash-Varnei
Summary: Set after the Battle at Hogwarts. Oneshot. Lupin and Tonks both survived the battle...


**This is my first fan-fic, it's probably not very good, but I hope you enjoy it.**

**Character belong to JKR  
**

Heart-Break and Healing

Tonks woke up to find Arthur Weasley bending over her, murmuring "_Rennervate_." She gave an exclamation and sat up, startling Arthur.

"Tonks! You scared me then."

"You're scared that I'm alive?" she retorted playfully, before she realised why she had just been woken up. She had been stunned, during that fierce duel. Someone must have carried her into the Great Hall though...

"What happened?" She asked, staring around. "Did we win?"

"Yes." Arthur answered, smiling slightly. They had won, but there were losses. More losses than he wanted to think about. And they included Fred...

Tonks, still glancing round the hall, saw the mass of bodies, and gasped. "Remus?" she murmured, the colour draining from her heart shaped face. Arthur looked down at her. He hadn't seen Remus for hours, he was almost certainly dead. But he didn't want to tell Tonks that. Nor did he want to give her a false hope.

"He's not in that lot," he told her, waving a hand at the bodies, "but I haven't seen him alive either." Tonks looked at Arthur, her dark eyes searching his for the truth. She gasped. She could tell he didn't think Remus was alive.

"No... He can't... he can't... die." Tonks said faintly, tears trickling down her cheeks. She lay back on her elbows. _Remus... dead?_ She couldn't bear the thought. _He can't be..._

"It's not certain yet Tonks. He might still be out there." Arthur looked desperately round the hall for his wife; he never could deal with crying, heartbroken women. He couldn't see her however, and turned back to Tonks, only to find her standing up and walking resolutely in the direction of the forest.

"Tonks! Where are you going?" He called, "You're not fully healed yet!" She stopped and looked round at him.

"I've got to find Remus. He's not dead, he can't be." She stated flatly. She didn't want to believe he was dead. She resumed her walk, straight for the side door of the castle.

Once she was out of the castle, Tonks broke into a run. Little did she care that the few people left outside were looking at her strangely, nor did she care that Arthur, having found Molly, was coming after her. Her only thought was to find Remus, her beloved Remus. She ran towards Hagrid's Hut, looking everywhere for a sign of him. She almost looked in the windows of the hut, after a wild thought crossed her mind – that he would be sheltering in there. But then she remembered the charm that had been cast on Hagrid's Hut at the end of last year, when Death eaters had set it ablaze. No-one could get in there unless Hagrid allowed them. And not even a skilled wizard like Remus could break that charm. So she ran on.

As she neared the forest something lying in the grass about sixty metres away caught her eye. She warily approached it and saw the one thing she didn't want it to be. A figure lying on the trampled ground. Dread filled her heart as she hastened towards the body. As she neared it; it was obvious who it was.

"Remus! No! Remus!" She dropped onto her knees beside her husband, tears brimming in her eyes. She turned him onto his back and placed a hand on his chest. She couldn't feel a heartbeat. The tears poured down her face as she pulled her wand out, and sobbed "_Rennervate._" He didn't stir.

* * *

It took ten minutes for Molly and Arthur to find Tonks. She had made no attempt to move the body and was lying across Lupin's chest, crying uncontrollably. Molly stood back, not wanting to intrude on Tonks' grief, which she knew was heart-breaking. Her own loss of Fred was bad enough, but she knew that if she had lost her husband, she too would be inconsolable. It was just harsh that Tonks had spent so little time with Lupin.

But when Tonks continued to weep after around ten minutes, Molly walked over and half lifted the girl up.

"Tonks, crying won't bring him back. You'll just make yourself ill." She told her gently. Tonks jumped at the intrusion, her eyes red and swollen and her cheeks soaked. She looked up and saw pure sympathy in Molly's eyes, the sympathy that had helped her last year. But she wasn't ready for it yet. She needed to be alone. She wanted to be alone. Silently she detached herself from Molly's hold and fell back beside Remus, the tears still falling fast. But the interruption had awoken her slightly. Her small, warm hands closed over one of her husband's cold hands.

"Oh, Remus!" she sobbed, "You said you'd never leave me again."

It was then that she was sure she felt a slight pressure on her hands. Tonks, wonder in her eyes, looked down at Remus' deathly pale face.

_Did the hand she was holding really feel a bit warmer?_ She almost kicked herself. She had been holding it for the last minute; it was going to feel warmer. She glanced down at the hand. It looked slightly pinker. A thought struck her. Dropping the hand she was holding she reached over the body and took hold of the other hand.

_Could she feel slight warmth?_ Hardly daring to believe it, Tonks rested a hand on his chest. But she couldn't feel a heartbeat. Her hopes fell, and the tears started falling once more. But then, there it was again, that slight pressure coming from inside her hands.

_Was it her imagination? _No, there it was again, that same gentle pressure. Her hand moved to her wand which was lying beside her. "It can't harm to try." She thought to herself, and she lifted it and pointed it at Remus' chest.

"_Rennervate_."

Her hand once more crept onto the chest. For a moment she thought she had failed, that of course he was dead, when she felt a very slight beat. Her heart leapt. The heart beat had been there all along, only it had been far too weak for her to notice. Twice more she murmured the incantation until Remus' eyes slowly opened.

* * *

Remus opened his eyes to find Tonks staring straight down at him. Her eyes were red and puffy and her cheeks where drenched, although he couldn't think why she had been crying.

"Tonks..." he murmured and found his voice was weak, and there was a pain in his chest when he spoke.

"Remus," she sobbed, half collapsing on top of him, "I thought you were dead!"

_Dead?_

Suddenly the whole battle and his last duel came back to him. He had been cornered by two death eaters, Dolohov and Greyback. A fierce battle had commenced, he had succeeded in flooring Dolohov and had started on Greyback when the cold, high voice of Voldemort had echoed through the grounds. Somehow, he had hesitated, and Greyback had hit him with the silver coloured heart killer spell merged with the red _Stupefy_. Then the blackness had come, the never-ending blackness; until he had ended up in the forest, with James, Lily and Sirius. Harry had summoned him somehow, he realised. Then he had been cast into darkness again, and had woken up to a sobbing Tonks. He must have half-died, he thought wearily.

"I wouldn't leave you Dora." He replied, ignoring the pains in his chest. He lifted an arm up to her, and found that even slightest movement made his breathing heavy.

"Oh, Remus!" Tonks whispered, before bending over and kissing him passionately. He savoured the kiss, his eyes closed, his hand in hers.

It was only when the two finally tore apart that Remus noticed Molly and Arthur standing to the side, Arthur looking a little uncomfortable. He smiled sheepishly at them, before asking "Is it over?"

Molly smiled back. "Its over." She told him.

"Who...?" he asked, although the slight smile on Molly's face had already given it away.

"Harry. Harry got him."

Despite the good news, Remus could tell there was something wrong. But as he attempted to lift himself into a sitting position, the pain in his chest magnified and he collapsed onto the floor. "Remus!" Tonks was bending over him; he could see fresh worry in her eyes. Molly and Arthur had drawn closer, Molly pulling her wand out of her robes.

"My chest... it kills..." he groaned. He was used to pain, but this was different, he could barely breathe now, and he felt so tired...

"Arthur, we need Madam Pomfrey." Remus heard the voice, and opened his eyes to see a silver weasel scurrying towards the school. But the brightness hurt his eyes and he closed them again, to wait until help came.

"Molly, what's wrong with him?" Tonks' voice sounded tearful again, and Molly hastened to comfort her.

"Probably just the after effects of whatever curse was used on him. I shouldn't worry dear. Madam Pomfrey will be able to put him right."

A few minutes later Lupin could feel more footsteps around him, and then he was being lifted into the air with the familiar stretcher spell. He gently squeezed the small hand that Tonks had just slipped inside his and smiled slightly as she returned the gesture. He sighed. At least she was safe. She and Teddy...

Remus tensed as he remembered his little son. _Was he safe? Why had Tonks left him?_ He opened his eyes and looked at his wife.

"Teddy?" He croaked, "Is Teddy Safe?" Tonks looked down at Remus, slightly startled but answered him calmly.

"He's at Mum's." She knew what he would ask next, and she thought he wouldn't accept her answer, so she was glad when she saw Ginny and Charlie running towards them.

"Mum! We've been looking for you everywhere..." Ginny stopped abruptly as she saw Lupin lying, eyes closed, on an imaginary stretcher. She looked up at Tonks, and then at her Mother.

"It's all right Ginny, he's just injured." Her Mother's voice was quiet, but reassuring. Ginny bit her lip, then turned and ran off through the castle.

"Need any help Mum?" Charlie asked quietly.

"I don't think so Charlie. You'd better take Ginny home; she looks at the end of her tether." Charlie looked silently at his Mother, before agreeing. "O.K Mum." He gave her a quick hug before running off after his sister.

"I'd better go and find George." Arthur looked at his wife who nodded, and he turned and moved off towards the Great Hall. Remus opened his eyes as he thought about what Arthur had said. _George? What about Fred?_ He glanced at Molly, whose face was grim. Looking closer he realised she had tears in her eyes. Remus almost gasped. _Fred was dead._ It was another loss. At least there would be no more from that cause.

* * *

Remus watched the ceiling as he was carried through Hogwarts and up to the Hospital Wing. He knew the route well, as the number of times he had been to that place in his youth was uncountable. Of course in those days, it was for the aftermath of his lycanthropy. But still, the place contained strong memories for him.

But even he could never remember it being this full. Most of the beds were taken, and in the corner lay the centaur Firenze, whom Lupin guessed must have broken legs. Remus was taken over to a bed farthest away from the other, near to the centaur, who nodded in greeting. He could feel himself being laid on the bed, and looked up to see Madam Pomfrey hovering above him, muttering spells.

"Ah. Were you hit by a Heart-Killer curse by any chance, Remus?" She asked.

"It looked like it. There was a silver flash of light. I think it was mixed with a stunning spell." He answered.

"That's good. I was thinking it could be something worse, but I can heal that easily. I just need to..." She turned and made for her office, returning with a bottle containing a dark blue potion, which she tipped into a glass. "Drink this Remus. It will numb the pain while I fix it, which generally hurts a lot." Remus swallowed the thin potion and pulled a face. "Urgh, worse than polyjuice." He muttered as he watched the nurse pull her wand out and start murmuring an incantation. His chest suddenly felt rather hot, before returning to normal.

"There, you're all fixed, but you should stay for another hour, just in case." Madam Pomfrey told him, before moving off to deal with another patient, taking Molly with her.

"Thanks Poppy." He called after her. He then looked at Tonks' tense face. "Dora, what's wrong?" He asked tenderly, his hand reaching out for hers. She took it gratefully.

"It's just... I thought you were dead Remus! I couldn't feel a heartbeat. Then you woke up. How?" She demanded. He sighed.

"It's the Heart-Killer curse. It slows down the heart and can stop it. But it's not deadly; it only causes pain and slow movement. But this was merged with Stupefy. That's what made it dangerous. And it was full moon a couple of nights ago, I was weak. I probably had what muggles call a near death experience."

"Oh." Remus didn't like the look in her eyes and hastened to cheer her up. "Anyway, I want to ask you something. Why on earth is my robe soaking wet? I'm sure if I was half-dead I wouldn't have dribbled that much."

"Remus! You..." Tonks exclaimed, punching him lightly on the arm. All of a sudden she was hugging him tightly.

"Don't leave me again, Remus."

"I wouldn't dream of it." He answered, smiling.


End file.
